Strategies To Stop Holding Yourself Back

Dec 12, 2023 | Tip for a Terrific Tuesday

Today I want to talk to you about some strategies on how to stop holding yourself back. When I wrote my bestselling book on Dreams Without Goals or Nightmares, as you know, there are four questions you have to ask yourself whenever you’re thinking about a goal. My formula for success that has helped me and many of my other clients reach goals is W  to the fourth power. (W^4) You have to first ask yourself, what is your goal?

This is going to help you know why you want to achieve it. And when you really get focused on why you want to achieve it, the how will come.

The second question is, when is your timeframe? When do you want to accomplish this goal? And then what is holding you back?

Another question to think about is what is your strategy? 

But today we’re going talk about the last question, what is holding you back?

The answer to that question indicates the work you need to do. What I’ve learned from research is that the brain wants to do what you tell it to do. However, the brain cannot understand a negative thing. If you tell the brain, ‘Don’t think of a car, don’t think of a car, don’t think of a car,’ what are you thinking of right now? You are thinking about a car.

One of the things I want people to understand is that you have to be able to promote yourself to succeed. A lot of people think that is bragging which is considered a negative thing.

I don’t want you to think of bragging as negative. I want you to think about it as effective bragging, which can help you reach your goals by showing people your value.

Are you being held back because you never say good things about yourself?

Research shows that a lot of people feel very uncomfortable saying good things about themselves, especially women. That’s why I created The Bragg Factor®.

One of the elements of The Bragg Factor® is learning how to create a 30-second brag. Some people call it your elevator pitch, but this is when you can say something good about yourself in 30 seconds or less. You tell people what is your special sauce and what makes you unique.

As we move into the new year, I want you to write down three statements that define you and what is unique about you. If you are in a business, what problem do you solve?

Don’t think about bragging as bad, but know that effective bragging can help you to move from point A to point B. Tell yourself that not bragging holds you back, but effective bragging can help you move forward.

Again, the brain cannot comprehend a negative thing that you’re saying. If you are a skier and you are learning to ski, there are a lot of trees around. If you tell yourself, ‘Don’t hit the tree, don’t hit the tree’ then you’re more likely to hit a tree. That’s why when they teach you to ski, you’re taught to follow the snow so that you stay on track. That’s what we want to think about.

Don’t say bragging is bad, say effective bragging done the right way can help you show your value.

I hope that this information helps you to stop holding yourself back!

How to End the Year in a Good Place

I hope you had a wonderful time with your family during the holidays. Now, as we end the year, I want you to write down three things that you know are good about you. Practice some self-love, and meditate on these three things. Keep looking at them over the next few...

Start With What You Can Do For the Client

If you really want to have a successful business, when you enter into that business relationship, instead of focusing on what you can get from the customer, enter into it asking, “What can I do for you?” When you think about how you can serve your customer, serve your...

How to Unlock Self-Belief

Are you reaching your goals? What are you doing in the morning when you wake up? I've told you before that it's important to look in that mirror in the morning, to believe in the person that you see, and to tell that person that you can accomplish your goals. Write...

How to reach your goals? Nip it!

We've been talking about goals since the beginning of this year. I want you to know that first of all, you are worthy of achieving your goals. You deserve to be successful. I talked about last week on focusing on what's holding you back, because if we can erase those...

Three Tips to Stop Fear and Anxiety

I want to share 3 tips that can help you to overcome a fear — something you are afraid of that causes you to be anxious. First, I want you to learn more about that fear. Why are you afraid? And you may find through learning more about it that your fear is unfounded...

How to Get Redemption After a Setback

I hope you've had the opportunity to watch the Olympics as I have. This week, I've learned of many inspirational stories, but two stories that I find very powerful and inspirational are the stories of Suni Lee, a young woman who had a physical condition, and Simone...

Train Your Brain to Succeed

Sometimes we don't accomplish what we want to accomplish because we spend too much time thinking about the old stories in our life — our disappointments, our failures, our setbacks. So, why don't you start writing a new story today, filled with what you want and the...

Success: From the Bottom and UP

A lot of times when we set out to accomplish a new goal, we get held back because, in our mind, we get worried and feel trapped, thinking that we're starting from the bottom. Well, let me tell you, success starts from the bottom and moves up. Did you know that the...

Why You Need to Grow Your Gift

I want to talk about the fourth step of the  Bragg Factor®. Step 1: Behave as if Step 2: Resist the urge to complain and quit Step 3: Accept no limitations Step 4: Grow your gift Step 5: Gratitude Today we're going talk about that fourth step, grow your gift. I think...

Tell Your Loved Ones How Much You Care

As we enter the Thanksgiving holiday season, remember to take time to show gratitude to those who you love. When is the last time you actually told your loved one, how much they mean to you? How much you appreciate them? Relationships are at the heart of every...

Build Confidence to Speak Up in Meetings

If you are having problems with your self confidence, why not try standing up and asking a question at a public meeting or in a group? By doing this, you are making yourself the center of attention for a few minutes later, you will find that this helps to boost your...

The Power of Visualization

In my best selling book, Dreams Without Goals or Nightmares, I talk about the importance of visualizations and how visualization can help you to reach your goals. We know that well trained athletes use visualization all the time. Simone Biles has even said that she...

Tips to Overcome Adversity

It's important to gain skills to overcome adversity. In the past 25 - 30 years that I've studied human behavior, I've learned that there are 2 ways that people respond when they have a roadblock or a hurdle as it relates to setting goals. Either they NAP, N-A-P, or...

Show Gratitude Today

I hope that you had a wonderful holiday with your family and your friends. I want you to continue to focus on gratitude because we know that studies have shown that people who show gratitude are more successful, happier, and healthier. So embrace your family and...

Stand Up in a Group to Boost Confidence

If you're having problems with your self-confidence why not try standing up and asking a question at a public meeting or in a group? By doing this you're making yourself the center of attention for a few minutes. Later you will find that this helps to boost your...

Does Passion Affect Your Goals?

Did you know there's a relationship between passion and reaching your goals? The more passionate you are about reaching your goals, the more likely you are to reach them. You see, when you have passion about something, you are energized, and this can keep you...

How a 30-Second Brag Helps You Promote Yourself

It's important for everyone to have a 30-Second Bragg to promote yourself with confidence. Here's what Ericka Ward, a workshop participant, has to say about creating a 30-Second Bragg. “Hi. My name is Ericka Ward, and I am the program coordinator for diversity, equity...

How to Turn Failure Into a Success

No one likes to fail. I know I don't. But there are some good things that we can learn from failure that will allow us to fail forward. In fact, successful people study their failures so that they can take what they learned from them to move forward. Because if we are...

How To Spend Time On What Matters

I want you to think about how we spend our time on the things that really matter in the course of a day. We can't do everything. Here are some tips that you want to think about.   1. You want to first think about not comparing yourself to others. When we spend...

How to reach your goals quickly

I want to give you three tips to help you accomplish your goals. 1. Begin with the end insight 2. Be proactive 3. Begin each day visualizing your goals and work at them every day. If you can do these three things, you can accomplish any of your goals quickly